Privacy Policy & Terms of Service

A Note Before You Read On

Welcome, Traveler. Before you book your journey across the membrane of realities, please read the following legal document, which we have written with as much sincerity as one can muster while discussing quantum teleportation booking forms.

1. Who We Are

The Interdimensional Portal Transit Authority (“IPTA,” “we,” “us,” or “the Authority”) is a free, fictional, satirical booking service for human quantum portal teleportation across the multiverse. The IPTA is operated by and is a wholly owned comedic subsidiary of Good For Nothing Productions LLC (“GFNP,” “Parent Company”), a real company that makes silly things on purpose.

This website is a spoof of travel and booking websites, created in good humor. It exists as a portfolio piece to demonstrate Good For Nothing Productions’ ability to build custom web applications — including web forms and Stripe payment integrations — for prospective clients. Portfolio work can be found here.

No actual interdimensional travel, teleportation, or portal access is offered, implied, or possible. We cannot get you to the Mirror Universe. We’re sorry. We tried.

2. Information We Collect

To “book” your “teleportation,” our booking form collects:

• Name
• Email address
• Birth date

This information is collected solely to power the illusion of a real booking experience (confirmation emails, personalized nonsense, etc.) and for no other operational purpose.

3. How We Use Your Information

We want to be unambiguous:

• We do not sell your personal information to any third party, for any reason, ever.
• We do not send marketing emails, newsletters, or promotional spam. If you receive an email from us, it is almost certainly a booking confirmation or something equally ridiculous — not an attempt to sell you anything.
• Your information is not shared with advertisers, data brokers, or other dimensions (that we know of).
• Booking on this site is free. We do not process tips or card payments ourselves and never see your payment details. Optional tips are handled entirely by Ko-fi, a third-party tipping platform (which may use Stripe and/or PayPal). Your card number, billing address, and payment credentials go to them, not to us. Because tips leave via a simple link to Ko-fi, IPTA does not receive tip-amount notifications tied to your booking. Please see the Ko-fi Privacy Policy, Stripe Privacy Policy, and PayPal Privacy Statement for how they handle your data.
• Booking data collected may be used internally by Good For Nothing Productions to demonstrate functionality of the booking system to prospective clients (e.g., screenshots, demos), but never your personal identifying details in a way that exposes them publicly.

4. Your Data, Your Control

Travelers are not trapped in our system any more than they are trapped in a quantum stasis field (we hope). If you’ve made a booking with the IPTA, you may log in at any time to review your booking details.

From within your booking, you may easily delete your personal information — including your name, email address, and birth date — directly through the site interface, with no need to email us, fill out a request form, or prove your identity to a customer service portal staffed by interdimensional bureaucrats. Deletion is immediate and within your control.

Once deleted, your information is removed from our records and cannot be recovered by us — much like a Traveler who steps through a one-way portal to the Plane of Eternal Brunch.

5. Cookies & Technical Data

Like most websites, we may use basic cookies or analytics tools to understand how Travelers interact with the site (e.g., page views, button clicks). This is used to improve the comedic experience and demonstrate site functionality — not to build advertising profiles.

6. Assumption of Risk & Release of Liability

By using this website and/or submitting a booking through the IPTA, you acknowledge and agree to the following:

• The IPTA is a work of satire. No real teleportation, portal travel, or interdimensional transit occurs, is offered, or is possible through this service.
• Any individual using this website does so entirely of their own free will and accord.
• To the fullest extent permitted by law, you hereby release, waive, discharge, and covenant not to sue the IPTA, Good For Nothing Productions LLC, and its owners, members, employees, and affiliates from any and all liability, claims, demands, actions, or causes of action whatsoever arising out of or related to your use of this website — including but not limited to any claim of damage, harm, injury, loss, existential crisis, or unexpected reality-shift, of any kind, whether known or unknown, foreseen or unforeseen.
• In short: nothing bad should happen to you from using a joke website, but if it somehow does, that’s on you, not us.

7. Tips

Passage is free. Should you choose to tip the IPTA via the Ko-fi link on this site, 100% of tips go directly to Good For Nothing Productions LLC, in support of its ongoing mission to fill the world with absurd, humorous, and delightfully unnecessary art for the merriment of all. Tips are not tax-deductible (we are not a nonprofit — we are nonsensical) and are not refundable, as they do not purchase any goods, services, or actual portal access.

8. Children’s Privacy

This site is intended for general audiences and is not directed at children under 13. We do not knowingly collect personal information from children under 13. If you believe a child has submitted information to us, please contact us so we can remove it.

9. Changes to This Policy

We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time, for legal reasons or simply because we thought of a funnier way to say something. Continued use of the site after changes constitutes acceptance of the revised policy.

10. Contact

Questions, concerns, or interdimensional complaints can be directed to Good For Nothing Productions LLC at support@ipta.space